All Play & No Work

Ok, so I really mean "A Whole Lotta Play & Notta Lotta Work" but had to make it shorter :o)

I am married to a wonderful man who is a few years older than me by the calendar and many years younger than me maturity wise. I know, you're saying, "Boys mature slower than girls" well, at some point boys become men and the process should be completed. I mean, seriously. A man in his mid to late 30's should not be playing like a college kid.

I'm not talking about bar hopping or silly things like that. I'm talking about playing with the buddies ~ having "boy" night EVERY week and weekend trips to hunting camp, fishing camp, and 4 wheeling camp. The constant round of "grown up" play that men seem to invariably find themselves unable to live without.

Recently a girlfriend of mine who has been married less than a year remarked upon her angst over her husband’s choice of free time activities. I could only smile and say, "Welcome to my world" as I remembered the last 9 years of the same issues. I also remember, not so fondly, the time after the glow of wedded bliss had dimmed and I realized that the play wasn’t going to come to an end anytime soon. Hmm, I guess my friend just got to that point.

Well ladies, I’m here to tell you that there is something genetically added to us that makes us immune to the call of the playgroup. I call this a playgroup because it is always several of the friends who seem to gather for the activities. Just like a kid’s playgroup.

Yes, God seems to have created us with the responsible gene as well as the nurturing one. The gene that makes us look first at what needs to be done at home or with the children or what the bank account can handle under the already frightening burden before bouncing off on the next adventure.

That does not mean that we are immune to fun or that we have no desire to play and have a good time. Alas, we automatically see that there are dishes to be done, laundry to be washed, dried, folded and put away, floors to clean, grocery shopping to be done, children to be played with, etc. We have been made to think of our responsibilities as adults, wives, moms, daughters, aunts, friends, employees, etc. as binding and non-transferable…or should that be non-shirkable? More often than not, instead of a wild shopping spree at The Shoe Warehouse, we think "Hmm, Soandso really needs new jeans." Or "Gas has been so expensive lately that I need to cut back and not spend anything on myself this month." Here’s a better one, "I’m off from work early, I think I’ll take the kids to the park before we go home." Sound familiar?

Well, I’m here to tell you that there are some women who don’t think that way just like there are some men who DO think that way. But the law of averages is on my side, folks. Most men don’t think that way. Instead it’s usually, "Hey, I’m off early and so is Buddy A. I’ll call him and see if we can go four wheeling for a few hours today!" Who cares that the laundry is set to take over the house and the dishwasher is preparing to picket the front yard! It’s time to play!"

I could go on about this for hours and include the jokes and bets made by my family and several close friends as to whether or not my husband would leave "Boy Night" if I went into labor on a Monday. But, I am gainfully employed and thus must return to my daily tasks. Just remember this, we love them despite their neurotic need to recapture their days of playing in the mud with the friends on their Huffy bikes. We love them despite the fact they can sit in a recliner all day watching the ENTIRE Star Wars movie package and never once get up to do more than pop some popcorn and crack a beer. They’ll walk around the laundry pile to get to the cabinet that holds the hunting and fishing gear so they can run out fly fishing the next morning at 5 am. We love them despite the fact that they listen to the movies in surround sound so loud your ear drums will pop but are tone deaf to the buzz of the dryer telling them the towels are indeed dry enough to fold and put away.

So love them because it’s not going to get much better. My mom will tell you, she’s been married going on 50 years to one and he still doesn’t get it!

BTW, I usually cram these little bits of wisdom out during a "smoke break" which also happens to be my next topic. So I’m getting off my soapbox to return to work but tune in tomorrow…it’ll be a good one!